Lactose Tolerant
Have you ever seen that episode of The Office where Michael wants them to throw Meredith a surprise birthday party, and he insists on them buying her an ice cream cake despite knowing that she’s allergic to dairy, and then at the party, he tells her, “If I were allergic to dairy, I would kill myself”? That episode speaks to me.
Not because I’m as thoughtless and as terrible a boss as Michael—at least, I hope I’m not—but because, as a huge dairy fan, I totally understand the sentiment behind his statement. I don’t know if I have the personal strength to deal with a world where, if I eat dairy, I might destroy a toilet.