One thing I have learned since becoming a parent is that your mood, your actions and your way of life will determine how your kids behave, think and respond from a young age. Being a parent is one of the most selfless jobs one will ever hold but it’s not for everyone. I think some people are in love with the idea of becoming a parent. They see it as they will do better than this parent who’s kids seem crazy and disrespectful, they will do it right because they have control. Yeah, you can honestly throw that theory out the window. Once you become a parent, all of your ideas of being in control, having this robotic like atmosphere will disappear. I firmly believe this happens because kids are unpredictable, they come in all sorts of shapes, size and mindsets, kids bring with them unique personalities that don’t always match the vision you had to control them and lastly you have a heartfelt bond with your kids – well that is if you truly are a selfless enough person to love in such a way as that of a parents love.
Signs You Are not The Parental Type
Many people desire to have a kid, while others simply know in their heart of hearts that having a kid isn’t in the cards for them, they are not built to be a parent. I admire people who can admit that they simply aren’t in for being a parent. I have relatives who feel that way and when having discussions with them about it, I truly admired how honest they were about who they are and what they want in life. They know having a kid doesn’t fit into the woodwork of the life they want to live. If you are someone who simply cannot foresee the future with little kids in tow, then you are not ready to be a parent and that’s okay.
The sound of kids being happy, running around in the home or the sounds of siblings bickering about something ridiculous makes you angry. If you often find yourself hearing the voice of kids whether happy or bickering and it just makes your skin crawl, well then you really are not the parental type. Sure there’s a difference between your own kids and someone else’s, I get that, but reality is kids argue, kids defy orders and kids have energy. If you can’t keep up with that or don’t find joy in the sound of children, well then you are not the parental type and probably should just say no thanks to the idea.
If you have not learned to control your temper, you are not ready to be a parent but can change that to become the parental type. Raising kids requires a higher level of patience, compassion and empathy than any other job in the world. If you are often fueled into a huge temper fit and respond as such to kids or adults then you are not the parental type. While all humans have their patience level that can be broken, if you are literally always throwing a fit because a kid doesn’t see eye to eye with you or doesn’t’ listen the first time and then react in yelling, breaking stuff or setting unreasonable consequences then you are not the parental type.
Last, but not least, you simply feel no connection to the idea of having kids under your care. You may be scared of this idea, think that you simply can’t raise kids or just don’t have the time or energy required to raise kids then you are not the parental type. This is not to be confused with normal scared feelings that all of us have when thinking about raising kids right, all parents have this fear and it wouldn’t be normal to go into parenthood without some level of fear. I am talking about the ultimate thought that you really are too selfish in your own dreams and goals to raise a kid, such as money fuels you and the desire to have your name recognized is important, then you may not be the parental type because kids will deter your path to those type of dreams and thought patterns.
You Can Become the Parental Type
Surely there is room for change with everyone, if having a kid is something that you feel is important to you but you are struggling with a lot of the reasons listed above as to why you are not the parental type, there’s time to change. Becoming a parent often times allows you a chance to change. One will not usually change before having a kid, it’s something that switches in your mind and heart after you become a parent. I often tell people that unless you have had your own kids, given birth to them or been there to raise them from baby days up, then you will never fully understand what changes within you once your child arrives.
There’s always room to change … just be confident enough to realize what needs to be changed to create a calm, respectful, kind and loving environment for kids and move forward to make that change. That is if parenting is in your thoughts as something important to you, if you don’t desire to be a parent, then don’t let others pressure you. Be who you are, parent or not, but remember once you become a parent, you are in charge of little human beings whose confidence and esteem is in your hands.