At Your Convenience, Sir
Apparently, there are quite a few guys out there who think women can decide when to start their periods. I’m not sure how they imagine this happens physically (is it like peeing?) but I wish this ludicrous idea were true. It would be much more convenient for all of us.
If we really could control it, there would be much fewer wedding nights, honeymoons, romantic getaways, and high school field trips ruined. Oh, and while we’re at it, it would be great if we could also schedule when we get the flu, hay fever, or food poisoning. I wouldn’t be so bold as to ask to cancel all of these things entirely, but if we could schedule them that would be nice.