That’s why we don’t decorate palm trees
If you celebrate Christmas in a place that doesn’t have pine trees, decorate a fake tree instead. You’ll still follow tradition without having to drive hundreds of miles to chop your own pine tree down. Or, if you want to offend all passersby in your neighborhood, you can decorate a palm tree. Just make sure that you really emphasize the shaft and bulbous top, so everyone knows you’re in a festive mood.

Don’t stop there! Make sure you put up lights on the leaves for good measure. This will show your neighbors that your holiday cheer! They’ll even come knocking on your door with pitchforks and torches. How fun!