The Start of a Horror Movie
Everyone needs to watch one generic horror movie at least once in their lifetime. The more unoriginal the plot, the better. The movie will really teach you a lesson about what you shouldn’t do when it comes to spending free time in the woods. For instance, something you shouldn’t do is plan to go out to the woods in the first place.
Not only did the OP want to leave civilization behind and become a hermit in the forest, but they wanted to live in a cabin in the woods with a few friends of theirs. We’re guessing at least one of those friends is black and another is a blonde girl? Yeah, we know who to look for in the obituaries.