When parents divorce, one of the most difficult decisions they face is how to share custody of their children. It can be hard enough to work out the logistics of co-parenting when both parties are in agreement, but when there is animosity and resentment between them, it can seem impossible.
However, with a little bit of effort and cooperation, it is possible for divorced couples to share 50-50 custody without too much drama. Here are some tips on how to make it work.
Don’t Drag Your Children Into It
It can be tempting to try and make your co-parent look bad in front of the kids, but don’t. If you are tempted to talk about how great it is at your house compared to what’s going on at their other home or say something negative about their parenting techniques, stop yourself. Instead, let your children know that it is okay to love both homes and that they should not take sides.
Keep the Negative Out of It
It’s human nature to complain about things we don’t like, but this shouldn’t extend to your co-parenting relationship. If there are things happening at their house or issues with discipline or schedules, resist the urge to complain about them with the children. Again, let your kids know that it is okay for them to love both of you and that they shouldn’t take sides.
Don’t Fight In Front of the Kids
In divorce cases where there is a great deal of animosity between parents, fighting in front of the children is common. This sends the message that it is okay to argue, scream and fight with authority figures. To avoid this, make an agreement between you both not to engage in any hostile behavior if the children are around. This includes yelling, throwing things at each other’s homes, or using hurtful words.
Make Sure You Have Equal Time With The Kids
If you are the parent with 50-50 custody, make sure you set aside equal time for your kids between your house and their other home. This will avoid any resentment down the line, as well as show them that it’s okay to love both homes. If there are holidays or vacations coming up that will affect scheduling, discuss this ahead of time with your co-parent.
Keep the Kids’ Schedules as Consistent as Possible
When there is a custody arrangement where one parent has the kids for half of the time, it is important to keep their schedules as consistent as possible between both homes. If they have a certain bedtime or television show that they watch at mom’s house, make sure they continue having the same routine at your house. This will help them feel more secure and reduce any anxiety that they may feel.
In conclusion, it can be tough to co-parent under any circumstance, but divorcing couples with 50-50 custody face a unique set of challenges. With the right attitude and dedication, though, it is possible for divorced parents to share their kids in a positive way without too much drama or resentment.