NO-PIT AVOCADO!
If you hate the person before this for stealing the only tiny-pit avocado in the world, then you’ll be furious to learn that a no-pit avocado exists. Or, existed until the full creaminess of this fatty fruit was spread on toast and devoured by this lucky son of a gun.
Maybe the avocado gods were at play here, tempting the inhabitants of our planet with a single, stoneless avocado that they hoped would cause mayhem. Though no mayhem ensued, this person decided to flaunt their boundless levels of luck on social media to antagonize the rest of us. Shame on you, no-pit avocado guy…