The First Date
This post got us in the first half. At first, we thought that Ryan was going to say that his wife was as mean as a shark on their first date together, but he wound up twisting it around by saying that he forgot he was a shark. How can a human date a shark? You know what, don’t answer that.

We couldn’t imagine Ryan being anything like a shark. First of all, he seems like a pretty nice guy. He has his faults, but nobody’s perfect. Also, we’re pretty sure Ryan has lungs, not gills, and that he weighs less than 500 kilograms—the weight of an adult great white shark.