This One Hurts
I was riding my bicycle on a beautiful sunny day, feeling the light summer breeze slick my hair back and feeling like I was being super healthy for getting exercise instead of spending the day scrolling through Facebook, when suddenly a black spot collided with my eyeball. I blinked in confusion and disgust when I realized it was a bug that was making my eye feel like it was on fire.
I promise every person who reads this misheard lyric that if the Beatles had been singing about a tick in her eye, she definitely would have cared. Luckily, they said, “she’s got a ticket to ride.” Depending on the relationship, a breakup might feel better than a bug in the eye.