Jesus Saves
Although Jesus is someone you wouldn’t expect to care about earthly, material things, it turns out even God’s only son can’t resist the blue light special if we’re to believe this t-shirt. Forget all the life-restoring miracles and rising from the dead; it’s all about the weekly discounts at one of our favorite forgotten retailers.
In case you were curious: there are only 3 K-mart stores left. One in Westwood, NJ, another in Long Island, NY, and the last in Miami, FL. The retailer had 2,400 stores at its peak but crumbled after multiple bankruptcies, so it’ll be much harder for Jesus to save now than it was 30 years ago.