The 3 Pillars Of Healthy Development

Credit

All parents are likely to agree that ensuring your children are raised as well as possible is vital for their adulthood. You want your children to develop in a way which is healthy and happy, and you need to know how you can ensure that that is all the more likely. As it happens, it’s pretty straightforward to do, as long as you follow some essential rules for doing so. In this post, we are going to take a look at three of the main pillars of ensuring healthy development in your children, and how to bring them into being in your child’s life.

Mindfulness

Although it is a practice aged at around three thousand years or so, mindfulness still receives mixed coverage in the media and in everyday conversations. This is ultimately down to a lack of understanding on most people’s part; before you have practised it a great deal, it is difficult to fully grasp the practice itself, and its many benefits. But it has not existed for so long for no reason at all; as it happens, it is one of the most psychologically beneficial practices out there, and the earlier you introduce it into your child’s life, the better. Encourage in your children the ability to be mindful, and they will grow up with a stronger resolve, a better grasp on their emotions, and with a more loving and kind outlook. What could be better than that?

Diet

Mindfulness is just one part of it, though – and it too is affected by many other factors, diet being a primary one. A good diet in your children’s lives will mean that you can expect to see them be healthier, happier and have much more energy. The best way to encourage this is to make it so from a very young age, as young as possible. You can use happy tot super foods to introduce great healthy foods into their diet very early on, and then continue this trend as they become older. They will then be more likely to continue this into adult life. With a great diet, it is often true that all else will more quickly fall into place.

Exercise

Most of us don’t really exercise as much as we should. There is probably not just one reason for that, but a significant influence is likely to be the way we approach it when we are young. If you want your child to grow up to exercise well and look after their body, then you should seriously consider encouraging them to exercise and to enjoy exercise. This might be easier than you think. Mostly, it is just a matter of getting them into the habit nice and young. If you make it just another ordinary part of their everyday life, then they will be much more likely to continue it on as they age. This, coupled with the previous two, is sure to guarantee a much healthier later life for your children – and that is exactly what you should be hoping for.

Different Ways to Teaching Siblings to Get Along

Teaching siblings to get along can take some time, but with a few tips and tricks you can achieve this goal! Sibling rivalry is a real thing, and sometimes it is very hard for children to see eye to eye.

Nothing beats growing up and your sister or brother becoming your best friend. Someone you can count on and trust fully! Below are ways to help teach your children that they can be friends with each other!

Tips for Teaching Siblings To Be Friends

Image Source

Tips for Teaching Siblings To Be Friends

Role Model: If you have siblings yourself, you know that sometimes you might not see eye to eye, but you still have to be respectful and loving. Lead by example, as your children will watch how you act with your brother or sisters. So make sure to show family is important, spend time with them, and always talk in a positive manner.

Positive Praise: Make sure to focus on each child’s strengths! If one child does great at sports, compliment them. If the other is very artistic, praise them on their masterpieces. Make sure that you are sending out positive praise for their unique talents. This will show your children that they are each good in different areas and that is great.

Don’t Compare: Don’t compare your children in a negative way. Don’t say, “Arnold is so great at running the 50 meter dash, if you tried harder you could  be just as good or better.” That is a way to create fights between your children. No matter what the instance is don’t compare.

Sharing: Make sure your children learn how to share their toys and electronics. By taking set turns it teaches them that all things are equal. You can set a timer and for that set time they can play or watch their show on tv, and then when it goes off it is their siblings turn. This is a great way for them to learn how to share and it shows no favoritism.

Kindness: Teach your children manners and being kind to each other and everyone else. Learning to say thank you, and do kind task for others is a great attribute in children. You could go around the table at dinner and share something they appreciate about one another, this is a great way for your children to see that they do love each other.

Personal Time with Mom and Dad: Make sure you give each child set time where it is just you and them. Take them out for dinner, go get donuts, head to the park, whatever they enjoy doing. Making sure each child gets time with the parents alone lets them know they are special and you value them. Do this with each child on a regular basis. Letting your children know how much you love them is so important, and they won’t feel they have to fight for your attention.

I hope these simple tips can help. It takes some kids longer to get along, and some love each other from day one. Just love your children equally and speak positive praise over each one, and work at showing that their siblings are special too, and in time they could become best friends.

About the Author

Kelsey is a freelance writer for bloggers! A country girl from Kansas, who enjoys spending time with family! You can see what Kelsey has available for content in her Facebook Group.

Parenting is all About Instincts

I am on a kick this week writing about gut instincts, seriously head on over to BrandyEllen.com to read more on dreams and instincts this week. With that being said, I wanted to take a moment to write about parenting and how it is all about instincts. You see, we can read all of the parenting books out there; we can listen to the advice of our elders. We can go on and on trying to be told or determine what we should be doing at parents but at the end of the day, it’s all about our instincts as a parental unit to our child.

Ever wonder what grandparents bring to the table? I was lucky to have great grandparents and still do, but some don't. Here's 5 Reasons Grandparents Matter.

While I am often found lending advice or saying what works for me, how I have seen my autistic son grow with age, this isn’t the case for other parents. We all live in different environments; we all have different morals, values and beliefs. Every single family on this Earth is unique and that is what makes the world we live in so beautiful. In my opinion.

Okay back on topic … parenting is all about instincts.

When you bring this little bundle of joy into this world, you are instantly in love. You want nothing more than to do good by this little bundle of joy and you know that you will always work to be better as a person and a parent each day. The newborn days are tough. You are often tested to see what you can figure out from a simple cry. That baby will cry and sleep very little in the middle of the night yet you somehow figure out what your baby needs. You work through it and you use instincts, believe it or not, to determine what your baby needs!

As your child grows into a toddler, they are more demanding for now they have figured out how to use their voice and you are the lucky one who taught them how to talk. It’s like this catch 22, you teach them to talk and then you want them to stop. Reality is you still have to use your instincts to figure out what is causing your toddler to have a tantrum. You have to figure out what times are best to give the toddler a nap. You have to figure out if your tantrum throwing toddler needs something beyond the immediate moment. Perhaps the toddler needs more positive attention and sure enough they will act out negatively just to get your attention.

Then you get into the days of pre-teens. These are difficult times for the child is shown the path by their peers. They are in school and learning how others interact as a family, what their friends believe in and more than likely they have picked up some bad habits. You have to work with your pre-teen at home to determine where behavioral issues are stemming from. Is there something wrong at school, is your child feeling like they are not good enough? Will your pre-teen talk to you? Maybe, maybe not. You have to again dig deep into that parental gut instinct and know your child to figure out what’s going on.

Parenting is all About Instincts

Last, but certainly not least your role as a parent turns to the raising of a teenager. These years are confusing, difficult and make gut instincts on edge. During the teen years your parental instincts will be tested because you will watch shows, read books and learn more about this stage in childhood. Those teen years could lead you down a path of thinking your child is on drugs because they are anxious, depressed or moody. That’s not always the case. Teenagers are moody, anxious and depressed – it’s their hormones and the stress brought on by high demand of expectations from school.

ParentInfluence How to Get Kids to Do Homework

Eventually you will muster through every stage of parenthood, on your own or with help from loved ones. The children will grow up to tell you what they thought you did wrong and what they thought you did right. You will learn all over again how you were great at following instincts in some scenarios and not so great in others. You will learn that as a parent, you did the best you could fueled by the internal need to keep those children safe. Last, but not least, this process will be repeated all over again when and if you become a grandparent.

Autism Awareness #LightItUpBlue for Understanding and Acceptance

I recently shared a bit about my autism story with my middle child. Diagnosed High Functioning Autistic about 3 years ago or so, it was a new learning experience. With that being said, finally having the diagnosis that now is pretty much Asperger’s helped us to better raise our son. Now when others want to look at him odd or make faces because he isn’t as social as one would anticipate for a 10 year old boy to be, I just say “that’s how he is and that’s okay! He will socialize when he warms up to people but that takes a while.” And I am okay with who my son is and I think he’s pretty darn awesome!

Since April is World Autism Month, I’ve decided to #LightItUpBlue with Autism Speaks to increase understanding and awareness of autism. I have found that more people are aware of autism than ever before. I personally have learned that there are many areas of Autism that make raising autism so tricky. No two parents will have the same child who exhibits exactly the same quirks or personality traits. It’s highly likely that you know someone with autism too since the CDC estimates autism’s prevalence as 1 in every 68 children in the United States.

Autism refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, as well as by unique strengths and differences. We now know that there is not one autism but many types, caused by different combinations of genetic and environmental influences.

Why I’m Going to #LightItUpBlue for Understanding and Acceptance

Autism’s most obvious signs tend to appear between 2 and 3 years of age. In some cases, it can be diagnosed as early as 18 months. Autism Speaks encourages parents with concerns to seek evaluation without delay, as early intervention can improve outcomes.

My Son Was Diagnosed around age 8

It wasn’t easy to get an autism diagnosis. First he was said to be ADHD, bi-polar as that runs heavily in the family and at age 2 I even had a pysch try to give him anti-psychotic drugs. I walked out and never went back there! It isn’t easy to get a diagnosis for Autism because the symptoms can be clearly misdiagnosed for ADHD, bipolar and other mental health symptoms like anxiety. There simply aren’t many professionals out there who will look deeper, they prefer to give a quick diagnosis in my opinion and ADHD or anxiety is much easier to say a child has than to take the time to evaluate for autism. Again that is simply based on my own experiences. Finally we met a psychologist who has an adult son who is high functioning autistic – she diagnosed my middle kiddo in a mere matter of minutes. From that day forward my son was no longer on any medications and we worked to mold his household life into something that decreased meltdowns, was routine driven and worked for him.

Never Give UP!

If I had to advise anyone looking to get a diagnosis or answers, I would say DO NOT EVER GIVE UP! You will find someone who gets your child and will give you the diagnosis you and your child deserve. Try to find someone who has a child or grandchild with autism, they are the key to spreading awareness and getting more kiddos diagnosed properly.

Light it Up Blue

The “Light It Up Blue” campaign is about more than awareness — it is about increasing understanding and acceptance of autism.  This includes advocacy and support for people across the entire spectrum throughout their lives. It also includes advancing research into personalized treatments for autism and related conditions.  I encourage you test your understanding of autism by taking this quiz!

Certain medical and mental health issues frequently accompany autism. They include GI disorders, seizures, sleep disturbances, attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety and phobias.

My son has GI issues, he has sleep issues and as a younger child ADHD was certainly present. Overall my son still has anxiety and after having his adenoids out he sleeps okay. There’s a tick he has when he is excited and now at age 10 he simply tells his friends that’s what he does when he’s excited, he doesn’t know why. There’s little symptoms he has that you can see if only you know more about autism, the average person may just see him a shy, quiet kid until you get to know him then he’s a chatty Cathy!

Why I’m Going to #LightItUpBlue for Understanding and Acceptance

Make a Difference …

You can help make a difference too by taking the Light It Up Blue Quiz to see how much you know about autism. If you’re moved to do so after visiting AutismSpeaks.org, please show your support for and understanding of the challenges faced by individuals with autism by sharing a photo to #LightItUpBlue for Autism Awareness Month too. Also, check out Autism Speaks’ nationwide calendar of autism-friendly friendly events and activities in April.

5 Reasons Grandparents Matter

It has been proven years and years past that one thing remain trues, the emotional connection between child and grandparent comes in second only to the attachment the child has with their parents. These days it’s not uncommon to see grandparents raising grandchildren, but there’s something more to be said about why grandparents matter. Grandparents are not here to raise more children. They are here to play the significant role of grandparent and here’s why that relationship matters:

Ever wonder what grandparents bring to the table? I was lucky to have great grandparents and still do, but some don't. Here's 5 Reasons Grandparents Matter.

Teach Historical Lessons

Many grandparents have lived well beyond the child’s parents and have seen things that no longer exist in our current generation. Grandparents allow history to be shared from generation to generation. Ever seen a group of grandchildren sitting cross-legged on the floor hanging onto every world of their grandparent? That’s the grandparent teaching historical lessons in such a fascinating way that it holds the attention of even the youngest of children.

Grandparents Help Guide Parents

In a time when people are becoming parents at a younger age, grandparents can play a valuable role by being a secondary parent within the household. No more are the old days where having your parents live with you is a rare commodity. Times seem to be repeating themselves as history swings slightly back in time when parents, grandparents and children all resided together under the same roof. Grandparents can help guide parents to be better at being mom or dad when they are around more.

5 Reasons Grandparents Matter

Grandparents Teach Old Values

The times have changed, with technology advancing it seems our fast paced world would rather snoop on social media or interact online than to extend a hand to thy neighbor. Grandparents keep the old values alive. You know the ones where we help our neighbor, we participate in the community and we give to others without expectation for anything in return. Grandparents bring these old school values into the life of your child at a higher level and it teaches them to keep the old values alive.

Grandparents are Simply Fun

There’s nothing more fun than having a sleep over with your grandparent. Most of us can relate to that feeling of getting a little spoiled at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. That’s what grandparents are for, to have a little fun with their grandchildren without having to stress over the role that parents play. Grandparents have already raised children, they know through trial and error what works and doesn’t work. Being a grandparent allows them to be more fun than they could be when raising children and grandchildren love this!

Ever wonder what grandparents bring to the table? I was lucky to have great grandparents and still do, but some don't. Here's 5 Reasons Grandparents Matter.

Grandparents Aren’t Fearful of Truth

Most elders don’t care what they say aloud. Grandparents were raised in a different time, a time in which political correctness wasn’t on high alert. Grandparents are not fearful of speaking truth, they do so in a kind way but sometimes it’s shocking to the current generation. Grandparents teach children to speak what they feel without fear of ridicule and to do so in a nonchalant, non-attacking way.  Grandparents have more wisdom and confidence to share with grandchildren than parents can offer because they simply grew up in a different time. Children who spend time with their grandparents learn to be confident in speaking truth even if someone’s feelings are hurt, for the intention is to stay true to yourself not fear what others think when you speak up for yourself.

What say you, do you think Grandparents play a pretty awesome role in the life of children?

Co-Parenting Tips: How to Handle Opposite Rules in Other Parent’s Home

I have been co-parenting for about 14 years. With this experience of co-parenting have come some challenges, struggles and personal growth. You see, co-parenting isn’t easy by any means and when you co-parent with someone who is completely the opposite of you, it’s quite frustrating to say the least. I have been co-parenting my sons for about a handful of years but I took what I learned from the first child into my co-parenting situation with the father of my sons. Since I have watched co-parents put the kids in the middle for so long, argue and fight consistently and place their own kids under the impression that they are not free to love both parents, I work hard to share tips on what has worked for me and what I have learned in the last 14 years. Today I am sharing co-parenting tips – how to handle opposite rules in other parent’s home as a means to guide you towards having happier, well-balanced kids who don’t feel guilty loving both parents.

Co-Parenting Tips: How to Handle Opposite Rules in Other Parent’s Home

Get Over Yourself

That may sound harsh and well it is meant to be. If you are co-parenting with someone who destroyed you emotionally it will be difficult to get over your emotions. I say it should take about two years to get over the hurt that was caused in the breakdown of that relationship. Once you hit the two year mark of co-parenting, you should have been able to work through the hurt and be a better co-parent to your kids. Take up to two years to see a counselor, work through demons from the relationship and figure out a way you can come to peace with knowing your ex hurt you but the kids shouldn’t pay for it. You are just as imperfect as your ex, so get over yourself.

Never Utter a Mean Word

Kids hear everything, even when you think the kids are not listening, they are! Learn to never utter a mean word about the other parent whenever the kids are awake. Part of co-parenting is working together to raise your children without harming their self-esteem and love for their other parent. While you may see fault in the co-parent, the kids do not see this. All kids see is that their Mom and Dad love them, care for them and are there for them. Allow your kids to learn the faults in their parents on their own, it is not up to you to brainwash the kid to hating their other parent. If you must vent about the co-parent do so on a kid-free weekend/night or when they are fast asleep and there’s no chance they will hear you.

Accept the Other Parent’s Rules

You and the other parent will rarely have the same exact rules. Learn to accept that the other parent has their set of rules and it is not your place to step on their toes. If your kids come home saying that they are allowed to do something at their other parent’s house and you are not okay with it, set up a meeting to discuss this concern with the co-parent in a way that leads to resolve. When the co-parent refuses to budget on their rules, simply accept it and teach your kids that Mom and Dad have different rules. That Mom and Dad live in different houses and that’s part of having two homes, they get to have different rules and it’s kind of exciting, right?! Make it fun but respectful. Encourage your kids to respect rules regardless of which home they are in.

Learn from the Co-parent

Sometimes you can learn from having different rules in the other parents home. In my scenario for example, my first born is my eldest of 3 children so how I treat her is different than her Dad because she is her Dad’s only child. Get what I mean? Each of us could possibly learn something from another because of our differences in our daughter’s “birth order” for each household. Take time to learn from your co-parent, each of you should still be able to learn something new in the parenting world without attacking. Sometimes the answer on how to handle opposite rules in the other parent’s home is to figure out why they have that rule, why they think that way and truly hear them out. You can still keep your own set of rules, but understanding why they have these rules will help you be a better co-parent to your kid. When you understand why the co-parent has this rule, you can better teach your kid to respect that rule because you have taken the time to hear why the co-parent has this rule.

[clickToTweet tweet=”It isn’t easy to co-parent with someone who is the complete opposite of you #coparenting ” quote=”It isn’t easy to co-parent with someone who is the complete opposite of you #coparenting “]

There you have it a few ways you can learn how to handle opposite rules at the other parent’s home. Mind you, co-parenting is rarely as easy as I make it sound typing it out on paper but I am blessed in that I have one co-parent who I constantly have to comprehend where he’s coming from to try to respect and teach my daughter to respect him while the other co-parent and I can communicate, get on common ground and be peaceful at all times when it comes to raising our sons. The joy of having opposite co-parenting scenarios is that I can try my best to help others see how co-parenting doesn’t have to be a nightmare. You truly can find middle ground to make it work!

Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Couples

Joint custody arrangements after a separation or divorce can become quite stressful. Each parent will have to learn how to let go of the desire to have their child all of the time. Sharing children after a divorce or separation is a matter of fact, unless there is a case of abuse to the children or ex-parent. More often than not the court wishes to have the two parents create a parenting plan that will work for them and their children. The court systems will usually try to get each parent to communicate, most states require the parents to take a child impact seminar that is geared towards teaching co-parents to parent together, treating their relationship much like a business.

Parent Influence Co-parenting Tips for Divorced Couples

Co-parenting isn’t easy because it’s never easy to have to communicate and share children with the person you no longer wish to be with. This is the number one reason why a divorce or separation should always be well thought out, be certain the relationship is truly dead or else co-parenting can become quite a nightmare when either of you start to date again. Now that you have become a divorced or separated parent, it’s time to learn a few co-parenting tips that can help two parents raise happy, healthy children without drama.

Separate Feelings

When you are co-parenting the situation becomes less about emotions and more about a business arrangement, the business of raising children. Feelings don’t have any place within the co-parenting structure, learn to set your feelings of protection, hurt and anger aside to ensure you can co-parent in a way that is best for the children. Your feelings and your ex-partner’s feelings no longer matter as it pertains to each other. The only thing that matters is that the children’s best interest is at heart and that you two can communicate to make easy transitions for the children without feelings getting in the way.

Only Discuss Children

Now that you are divorced or separated, it’s important to remember that your conversations should be strictly about your children. Even if you had an amicable divorce, discussing each others date nights or woes in life may not be a good idea. Learn to keep the topic of discussion on children only as a means to avoid the hurt feelings or drama that can be created when you talk personal or start pointing fingers about the hurt feelings stemming from the broken relationship. Keep an unspoken rule, if you will, that any conversations heading away from children will not be discussed and stick to it.

Parent Influence Blog - Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Couples

Think Before Speaking

There will be times your ex-parent, known as the co-parent now, will make you angry. It’s normal to have moments of intense rage or hurt feelings in moments with your ex when co-parenting together. Remember you two aren’t married any longer for a reason! Your children shouldn’t have to pay for these moments, keep any negative thoughts to yourself. If you must discuss how you feel about something, talk to a friend in a place where the children will not hear you. Children need to feel safe, secure and confident about loving both parents without ridicule from the other parent.

Use Written Words

If you and your ex-partner are simply not able to come to a peaceful place of communication there are ways around it. Have a family member exchange the children, learn to communicate in email only unless an emergency arises. Often times making it a requirement that if one of you has an issue with something it is emailed or hand written in a letter to the other co-parent creates a more peaceful, business-like approach to co-parenting. When we take time to write down what we are feeling in a high emotional moment, we tend to relax and sometimes realize the issue isn’t stemming from a current date scenario, it’s past feelings getting in the way of co-parenting.

Remember it’s About the Children

Keep in mind, at all times, that co-parenting is no longer about you and your ex-partner. Co-parenting is strictly about raising your children in a way that allows them to thrive. Co-parents will not always have the same rules at both households nor will they always agree on how to raise the children, this is perfectly acceptable. Remember that unless your children are truly in danger, how the co-parent chooses to raise the children while in their care is their right. Learn to respect each other as co-parents who have the best interest of the children at heart.

May each of these co-parenting tips for divorced couples help guide you back to reality and cope with the world of co-parenting in a positive way.

Issue with Invite the Whole Class to Birthday Party Rule

I recall having a conversation with one of my children awhile back; it was in regards to inviting the whole class to a birthday party. This concept that has become the rule at most schools, when you hand out birthday invitations you must invite the whole class has me frustrated. Here I am listening to my child who most certainly doesn’t want their non-friends at their birthday party leaves me with two options, stick to the rule of inviting the whole class or hunting down each parent of my child’s friend to invite that child to the birthday party. This whole rule of having to invite the whole class leaves parents stuck, because sometimes you can’t afford having the whole class showing up for a party and other times, you don’t believe in “life is fair”.

Issue with Inviting all to Birthday party Rule in Classrooms

Here’s my thoughts on the whole invite the whole class rule many classrooms now abide by; it is not setting children up for the real world. As your child grows into the teen years they will suffer more when that teen peer invites certain people to a party while they don’t invite others. These children will grow up to think that the norm is that everyone is always invited to a special event. The real world isn’t like that. We do not always get invited to the party our friends or peers are hosting. There have been many a gatherings I haven’t been invited to, and that’s okay, because I learned to deal with the feeling of being left out. I have learned to deal with the feeling and acceptance that not everyone likes me. Children should be learning this when they are young, so they can cope with this mentality as adults.

I firmly believe the world is fair to everyone mentality is hurting our future generation of adults; we see it with the millennials. Most millennials feel entitled and the work force even molds their rules to suit this generation of adults. It sickens me that society is making this an okay thing. When it comes to birthday parties, it should be all about the birthday child. The birthday child shouldn’t feel obligated to invite people who are either not their friends simply because they have nothing in common or not their friends because the child is mean. Who wants to have to invite the class bully over to a birthday party? That’s just insane, yet the school system requires that you hand out invites to the whole class or nobody.

Parent Influence Blog Stop Inviting All to Childrens Birthday Parties

I have for a long time struggled with this concept and often times have not hosted a birthday party for my sons, who have a true difficulty with this concept. They would much rather me take the extra effort in hunting down parents than have to hand an invitation to someone who isn’t their friend. How awkward it would be as adults, having a party and having to have people there who are not your friends celebrating your birthday. Why is it okay to require children to do this? When I was growing up we had mailboxes in our classroom, we dropped the invites in our friends mailboxes and were done with it. Some children felt left out, but that’s part of life.

I wish for the sake of helping children cope with feelings they will incur as teenagers and then adults that we stop making life fair across the board. The silliness has got to stop! As parents, it is our duty to teach our children to rise above differences, to accept that some people won’t like us and that is certainly okay. When you aren’t invited to a peer’s birthday party, it simply means that you two are not friends; it doesn’t mean you are less of a person nor does it mean you are enemies. It is simply a fact that not all human beings get along or have common interests that create that level of friendship versus just another peer in the classroom. Why do we, as parents, have to force this life is fair mentality upon our children? I for one don’t do it. I feel it’s much more important to teach my children that life isn’t fair. I teach my children that they are awesome, unique and just fantastic the way they are.

I teach my children to learn their flaws and work to be better tomorrow than they were today, without pressure to become what society pushes upon them.

My oldest is a great example of how this technique has worked, she has been in many scenarios where girls at another table in the lunch room were talking rudely about her. One of my daughter’s friends went over and informed her that these girls were being rude about her. My daughter’s reply made me proud, she said to her friend, “that’s okay, seriously it isn’t a big deal. I know people don’t like me and I am okay with that. No one has to like me, and they have a right to talk that way among themselves. It’s when they start harassing me, calling me names or being rude to me that they cross a line!” While that is paraphrased, as it happened awhile back, that is how we must raise our children.

This invite everyone to the birthday party, in my opinion, is setting our children up for failure as teenagers and adults for they will lack the experience of handling the emotions that come with being left out!

So how is it that we, as parents, handle this school rule? I am not entirely sure because the school rules apply when our children are at school. It doesn’t appear the school system will be changing this rule anytime soon. I guess all we can do, as parents, is to not force this rule upon our own children, find creative ways to invite only friends to the birthday party. Continue to teach our children to rise above our differences, to know that you can be kind to peer without having the pressure of ‘being friends’. There’s nothing wrong with children not liking other children; seriously, this concept goes well into adulthood. What a shock it will be to these children who are being raised with the “life is fair” mentality to find out that the real world isn’t so fair, that not everyone likes us. Even adult’s deal with those feelings of being left out, wondering why they aren’t good enough. It starts at a young age, these feelings of negativity. When children are raised by parents who encourage this “life is fair” mentality they struggle worse in adulthood. I firmly believe a lot of societal rules we have to deal with as parents, make parenting more difficult but we don’t have to conform to society standards.

At a young age my daughter and I worked to write and publish a book that was geared towards building confidence in others, mainly tween girls. That book is available on Amazon and is called Positive Girl – The Power of Your Thoughts. While not everyone will agree with me in how to raise children, I just wish more parents would realize the negative impact you are placing upon your child when you teach them that they will always be included in everything.