The Single Mom Influence

There are so many single moms out there in the world today. They struggle, they cry and they work to be stronger every day. Then there are other single moms who just give up, they focus on what failed and why they are now forced to raise a child or more than one child alone. The thing is, you can focus on anything you desire. If you are the single mom who chooses to focus on the difficulties of motherhood as you face them alone then chances are you will forever play a negative influence in your child’s life. This child will grow up to see that being a single mom means that you are less fortunate, that the world sucks and that you are not worthy of having a partner in life.

As a single mom you must remember one key thing –

You are the one person your child(ren) look up to and you are the one person your child(ren) will look back upon as a guiding light when they are adults.

I have been the single mom, the married mom and the dating mom. I have played many roles as a mom influence to my children. I have made mistakes.  I have curled up in a fetal position crying my eyes out ready to just give in. I have been exhausted; I have been consumed with self-pity. There are many chapters of life that bring to me sadness if I focus on them. I have been that single mom.  I woke up from those moments though as soon as I realized that I am the mom influence that my children look up to. I didn’t and still don’t ever want my children to look at me as a weak mother. A mother who couldn’t suck it up and be the provider then needed while growing up. I made a choice.

You, the single mom today, can make a choice as well. You can make a choice to be a positive mom influence on your child(ren). To rise above your circumstances as you learn to work with them versus against them.

The Single Mom Influence #mominfluence

Single Moms Have a Choice

I see you struggling to make ends meet. I see the heartache in your eyes as you hand your child(ren) off for a weekend with their dad. I see the hurt of that broken relationship flicker within your eyes while you watch your child(ren) exhibit signs of their father. These reminders you have to work through and live with, for your child(ren) are a beautiful creation of both parents. Like it or not.

The single mom works harder than any other mother in the world. The single mom develops this mentality that they will figure it out. The single mom often cries behind closed doors so that their child(ren) don’t feel and see the heartache that surrounds the lifestyle of a single mom. Regardless of what occurred to bring you to this place of being a single mom, you are still a survivor. You are still a fighter. You can still make the best out of this scenario.

Single Mom Influence

Today I invite you to find a way to work through the problems that you struggle with, focus on a solution and closure to current and past events.  Today is the day you need to tell yourself that you are brave, you are strong and you deserve to be happy even as a single mom struggling.

Cheers to the single moms out there who work through their problems, rise above and find a way to be that positive mom influence on their child(ren) day in and day out. Keep it real single moms. Be thankful that you are blessed to raise these little children you call yours and remember their love is forever, so as long as you raise them right.

Those Bittersweet Teen Years

A s you watched your teen walk off to high school with a cup of tea in her hand and her hair dyed and cut to her liking, it dawns on you that you helped raise this child. This now teenager is yours, she is growing up and in this brief moment your heart aches because you realize it won’t be long before she is an adult of her own, off making her own life. These days are bittersweet, full of moments where she is still your little girl yet an adult at the same time. Days full of moments where just for a glimpse she’s that same little girl who loves coloring with you, chatting with you about anything and everything, that same little girl who used to cook in the kitchen with you and seemed to enjoy every waking moment being near you.

You are mother, a woman who is meant to raise the children and set them free on their own adventure called life. You are mother, a woman who loves unconditionally no matter how rough the sea gets. You are mother, a woman who is meant to guide her children through their younger years in a way that molds them to be confident, independent and creative adult souls. You are mother, and while the thought passes briefly that soon you will be mother to two younger sons, while your daughter ventures into adulthood …

you feel both happiness and sorrow.

Being a mother has always been the best job I have ever held. Sure some days are harder than others and that thing called sibling rivalry drives me crazy in some moments. The things is though, I wouldn’t trade a day of motherhood for anything else. The mom in me always shines through, admitting my flaws and constantly working to be a better person every single day. Each day I work to be stronger, more confident and a great example for my children, I become something stronger and more confident for myself.

Cherish Each Moment

I read daily on Facebook of friends having such challenges with their teenagers, yet I look at my lovely teen daughter and the only challenge I face is her indecisive nature, which I blame me for. I am truly one who can be full of indecisive responses and it’s a fact that most teenagers are naturally indecisive. As the days pass, I realize more and more that I am enjoying these days of motherhood, raising a teen daughter and watching as she figures out who she is as a person and wonder who she will be in four years when she graduates high school and ventures into the real world.

Mom Influence Bittersweet Teen YearsThings that matter

Remember to focus on what you have instilled within your teen daughter, not the bumps she’s working through as she finds herself.

I find myself feeling that bittersweet feeling that comes when you are nearing the last years of raising a child, those moments when you are supposed to let go just a little bit more and allow for them to make their own mistakes, no matter how hard that can be. Let go and let them be who they are without judgment or ridicule. Let go and trust that the last 13 years haven’t gone wasted, that somewhere deep within you have embedded a great example of good morals, manners and confidence that will shine through in every challenging moment.

Motherhood is not something for the faint at heart, you will find your heart strings are tugged at every new stage in childhood. It’s how you handle the scenario that makes you a Mom Influencer.

Mom Influence Cherish Each Moment of Motherhood

Be proud, for you have raised a child who has survived fourteen years and is now ready to start embarking on their own journey, a journey to adulthood and boy are you blessed to be able to watch this unfold.