Only One Way to Fix This
Maybe this is his wife’s fault and she should have been more specific when she told her husband that she wanted some crappy earrings for Christmas. What she most likely meant by this was to not spend much and then even something from Claire’s Accessories would do. Most of us know that “crap” is another word for something less pleasant.
So technically, her husband delivered. For Christmas, he got her dinosaur poop coprolite — or fossilized poop earrings. Crappy earrings can still like nice but hardly anyone would say that about these. Sure this joke is funny, but the only way to fix Christmas now is a pair of crappy, but pretty earrings to give her after.