A mom can be anyone, really. There are many people who will say their step mother or their grandmother, maybe even an aunt was more of a mom to them growing up than their biological mother. While the person who gave birth to you will always be your mom be definition, there are many other moms in your life who may have helped mold you into the adult you are today.
Mom Influence Can be Anyone
I have seen many people online talk about how their grandmother is the one who influenced them the most. You see, you can be super close to your mom while still having more of a relationship with a grandmother because of who you are internally. I personally love my mom and while I wasn’t too fond of my upbringing when it comes to both of my parents, the day I became a mom myself changed my thoughts and feelings on my upbringing tremendously. With that being said, if I had to choose who was the most influential mom in my life I would select my Great Grandmother, Grena as I refer to her.
In January 2015 my Grena passed away and boy did I blubber like a baby. I had no idea the impact this lady had upon my life until that day of passing. As I stood there, graveside with my daughter, mom and relatives beside me I listened to everyone speak of Charlotte Maxham. My Grena had touched so many souls. Grena was a wife, a mom, a sister, she was a poet and so much more. She lived at the farm with her husband and built it into a pretty lucrative VT business that serviced cheese and maple syrup all over the place. While I don’t know 100% about the business end of their life, I do know a lot about the motherhood and wife journey my Grena took part in.
Stories of Great Grammy
Ever since I was a young child, Grena and I would write as pen pals. Sure we didn’t see each other often and I must admit I wish I had seen her closer to her end of days for one last hug and story. I will forever have the moments of sitting with her and listening to her share her love of cats, her children and her husband. Grena was a farmer’s house wife, she cooked and cleaned and often spoke about having an allowance. I never got the feeling from Grena that her life was horrible. I recall discussing co-sleeping with Grena, so many say it’s wrong to do but I was in fact co-sleeping with my first born child. Miss Ki and I were all we had for a lot of her beginning years, as I was a single mother. Grena would talk about how she always slept with her “babies” and since her and Great Gramps were old fashioned, they had their separate bedrooms which made co-sleeping with her babies an easy decision.
Grena loved her husband, her babies and her cats. She taught me that you hold on and stay strong because relationships always take adjustments.
What Grena Taught Me
Grena talked about her love of her husband, I could tell that they had a long road for their nearly 75 years of marriage but within that remained a deep bond and connection as husband and wife. Surely my Grena didn’t disclose all of her private details of the marriage, and one could most certainly say that they had been through quite a lot in their marriage.
Grena lit up when she talked about motherhood. This was a woman who I could fel love radiate from as she talked about being a mom to all of her babies. Grena always referred to her now adult children as her “babies”. A loving mother who had this connection that I feel is similar to how I am with my own children. Grena was an amazing old soul who saw life a bit differently from me. I always admired her stories and views of life, I was simply intrigued by this lady.
The reason I selected my Grena as one of the most influential moms in my life is because she was strong, clever, intelligent, poetic, and full of love.
Grena Was Trust
As I sit and review the letters from my Grena, she never sugar coated her thoughts and feelings, I trusted her to always remain honest, even at the cost of hurting my feelings. When my Grena passed she was 93 years old and I will forever cherish the moments we shared through our common love of the written word. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about Grena’s stories of motherhood and marriage. This woman influenced me in so many ways and now that I am 35 years old, those memories impact my current life of being in a relationship and raising kids.
I am often found discussing my memories of this amazing woman who lived long enough to have nearly 75 years of marriage and enjoy not only the role of being a great-grandmother, but also a great-great grandmother. This woman who had a small allowance each week still found some way to send each my children a small gift for their birthday.
R.I.P Grena, in my heart you will forever remain.
To this day, I have at least one item for each of my three children that they can go on to cherish in the memory of their great-great grandmother.
Grena was truly an influential woman to many and to me; she was the most influential mom I have ever had the honor to have in my life.