For Pizzas and Self-Defense
Buying weapons online isn’t the smartest thing. You should do what the rest of us do and go to a dark alley and purchase a weapon for “self-defense” from a shady character in a hood and baggy pants. Of course, we’re kidding, guys! We’ve never gone into a dark alley and spent $350 on an unregistered weapon! That would be silly!
But what’s not silly is this weapon/pizza-cutting utensil. The seller claims it’s a home defense battle saw, but we’re pretty sure you could use it to defend other things, like your pizza from attacking seagulls and whatnot.